Remembering Sunday
by Unicorn-mad
Summary: Oh, he can see now, that all of these clouds are following him in his desperate endeavor, to find his whoever, wherever she may be.


_**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments or any of its characters, I am simply using them for entertainment. I also do not own Remembering Sunday by All Time Low I am simply using it as Inspiration.**_

_**I suggest you listen to this before you read, but you don't have to if you don't want!**_

_**Remembering Sunday by All Time Low: watch?v=LEBrjCasRSQ**_

_**I hope you e**__**njoy , please read and review, if you don't want to it's fine!**_

* * *

_As he watched her running away he couldn't stop the feeling of longing he felt when watching her.  
She was perfect, her red hair uncontrollably flying in the air as she ran, when she spun around to him he could see her clearly, her pale flawless skin had a shimmer to it, her crisp white dress made her look even paler and her gorgeous green eyes that had their very own sparkle to them, the same ones that always took his breath away.  
She giggled her angelic laugh as she raised her hand motioned for him to come and follow her.  
Jace ran after her as she turned around to run and he eventually started to laugh when he caught up with her and wrapped his arms around her. He had leaned into her hair and started to whisper to her about running off until he felt something poke into his chest.  
He looked down and found that it was a pair of wings attached to Clary's back.  
'Clary,' Jace gently turned her around with a confused look on his face. 'Why are there wings on your back?'_

_Clary sadly looked up at him, he saw that there were tears in her eyes  
'Clary what's wrong?' He rested his hand on her cheek, she meekly raised her hand to push him off her. She started to take big steps back from him as tears started to fall from her eyes, one after one.  
'I'm so sorry Jace.' She then turned around and started to run away.  
'Clary, wait!' He sprinted after her, the more closer he got to her she would simply go faster and be out his sight. But he would find her, he always found her.  
As he looked up, he saw her in front of a bright light, her wings were bigger than ever now, they open as if ready to take flight any minute. 'Clary!' He was out of breath from running after her, surprisingly she wasn't, her hair wasn't misplaced and her dress had no creases or grass stains on it.  
'I'm sorry.' She mouthed to him, just as he was going to reply, a bright light blinded him which made him look away. When he looked back, he found that she was gone, there was nothing there in her place.  
Then he shouted and screamed to the angels above, begging them to bring her back to him.  
But they never gave her back._

* * *

He woke up from dreaming, he sighed as got up and sat on the edge of his bed. He ran his hand through his blond hair and went to put on his shoes. He already had his clothes on from the day before, it seems he has forgotten to change his clothes for the past week.  
Clar- She would have gotten angry over that. He didn't call her by her name anymore, it hurt less to call her either 'she' or 'her' now.  
He quietly walked at of his room in the institute hoping that no one would hear him leave, he had already bumped into Alec as he was leaving yesterday. He got as far as the doors that led to outside before hearing Isabelle behind him.  
"Where are you going?"  
Jace couldn't help but hear Cla- her in his head saying 'Busted!' He had to hold back a chuckle as he turned around to Isabelle. By the look on her face she must of thought he was crazy, he saw a glimpse of his reflection in the window, he had bags under his eyes, around his eyes were red, his hair was messed up in all different directions, his clothes were badly creased and he hadn't shaved in a for ages.  
"For a walk." He eventually replied.  
Isabelle raised an eyebrow at him. "Jace, it's half two in the morning."  
"Is it?" Jace asked in a monotone voice. How should he know, he hasn't been sober for days.  
An awkward silence filled the room, how had it come to this? He and Isabelle were so close that they used to consider each other as a sibling and now because he drove her away they were like strangers.  
Jace had had enough, he turned around went to the door and just as he was about to open it he heard Isabelle shout out. "Jace… promise you won't do anything stupid."  
He chose to ignore her and walk out the door leaving an upset Isabelle to worry other her brother.

As he walked around New York's back alleys and streets he stopped and rested against a cold wall.  
He leaned into the cold breeze that soothed him and started remembering Sunday. Before he could stop himself he already had tears in his eyes, it was hard enough to remember what she looked like let alone cope with what happened afterwards.  
Then he finds himself falling to his knees, he remembers them having breakfast together, but two eggs don't last like the feeling of what he needs.  
He remembers it like it happened yesterday.

He was outside the mundane café that she wanted to eat at, he kept thinking that this place was familiar to him, then she appeared and pulled on his hand with a devilish grin, then she led him upstairs and left him dying to get in.

He remembers the first time he ever saw her at the Pandemonium Club, and how after that he couldn't forget her. He had wanted to, but he couldn't stop himself. He forced Hodge into letting him be the one to come and find her and bring her back to the Institute. He had couldn't find her at first but in the end he did, he always did. Even back then, when he found her in that stupid coffee shop, when he saw her sitting on that couch with Simon, even then it felt wrong for him- He should have been the one sitting with her, the one who made her laugh. He couldn't get rid of that feeling, that it should have been him. The more he knew her, the more he felt it –it had never been like that for him before. He'd always wanted to know a girl and then gotten to know her and not wanted her anymore, but with her the feeling got stronger and stronger until that night she showed up at Renwick's and then he knew.

Even though he knew when he met her that she didn't believe in love, he was determined to call her bluff. He couldn't deny the feeling inside whenever she would go near him, he had all of the signs, even the butterflies in his gut. Now he remembers waking Clary's neighbours when nobody came to open the door when he came for her, after asking if they knew anything he started to plead with the unfamiliar faces.  
But he's only denied, now he's dying to see her.

**_'Forgive me, I'm trying to find, my calling, I'm calling at night, don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl? She's been running through my dreams and it's driving me crazy, it seems, I'm gonna ask her to marry me'_**

He remembers that one of her neighbours said she moved away, but he knew she wouldn't leave him. Now he finds it funny how it had rained all day, He didn't think much of it then, but it soon started to all make sense. Oh, he could see then that all of the clouds were following him, in his desperate endeavour to find his Clary, wherever she may be.

He wasn't invited to the funeral by her mother, Jocelyne never liked him, he didn't know what Luke thought of him. Her mother had a mundane burial for her, probably still not wanting her daughter be involved with the shadow hunters he guessed. He hung back behind the trees and waited till it was other to see her. He went when there was only her mother and Luke left, Jocelyne was shocked to see him, you could tell that by her face. He doesn't know what they said to each other, because before he knew it they were gone, leaving him with a letter in his hand which said his name with her writing on it.

_Dear, Jace_

_I'm sorry that I'm not coming back,  
I don't know if my mum has told you but I have done something so terrible.  
I'm terrified to speak or scream while I'm writing now,  
but you'd expect that from me when I see my own blood.  
I messed up, I'll be blunt,  
now the rain is just washing you out of my hair._

_I want you to know that you didn't cause this,  
this was going on way before I met you.  
I would say that this was an accident and was a huge mistake.  
But I would be lying to you.  
And the Angels know that I could never lie to you Jace._

_Right now I'm going out of my mind,  
but I want you to know that,  
I'll be keeping an eye on the world  
While I'm so many thousands of feet off the ground  
I'm over you right now, I'm at home in the clouds  
Towering over your head._

_Forgive me,  
Your Clary._

He fell to his knees in front of her grave and stroked the cold plaque which had her name engraved into it.

_**Clarissa Adele Fairchild**_

He tried to read the rest but his tears building up in his eyes made it blurry for him to see. Then he was just shaking on the ground, not because of the rain pouring down, but because of the uncontrollable sobs he couldn't hide.  
He took one deep breath and got himself up before folding the letter into his pocket.  
He turned and walked away knowing that if he took a glimpse back it would just be like ripping his heart out.  
As he finally decided that he loathed life and that he wished that he laid in that coffin with Clary, even if it was a mundane one, he then understood what Valentine had told him when he was a child.

_"To Love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be the one destroyed."_  
Now he was the one destroyed.

Now he's back in the present, on the concrete floor, soaked to his bone by the rain that had started five minutes ago. He thinks of the future they could have had together, him asking her to marry him, then getting married and how her wedding dress would have made her look even paler then she was, then maybe if she wanted they could have had children together, little blonde and redhead versions of them, and then if they hadn't yet been killed by demons or anything else, they would have grown old together and die in their sleep.  
But he knew that it could never happen, because his Clary is dead.  
The Clary who he told he would love till they were dead and if there was a life after death he would love her then as well.  
And he did, he loved her, even if she was gone.

He got up off the cold floor and started walking to the institute, hoping that a demon or anyone would jump out and kill him to take him out of this hell he was living.

_Well I guess I'll go home now  
I guess I'll go home now  
I guess I'll go home now  
I guess I'll go home._

* * *

_Thank you!_


End file.
